Who you choose in your wedding party will set the temperament for the entire wedding day.
Picking your wedding party carefully can mean the difference between staying on schedule and enjoying your night, and feeling rushed and behind.
Here on Day 11, we wanted to mix things up a bit, because choosing a great wedding party is one of the biggest deciding factors on how your wedding planning will go, and how the day itself will turn out.
Here a 5 Tips On Choosing Your Wedding Party
1. Don’t Pick Your Cousin Because They Are Your Cousin
As much as your grandma may be begging you to put your cousin Sue in the wedding party because “She is such a nice girl who needs feel included”, refrain from picking people for your wedding party just because they are your family or friend.
The choice for who goes into your party should be based more on merit than “Well, they will feel bad if I don’t”.
2. Put a Limit on How Many People Are In Your Wedding Party
Going along with this last point, try to limit your wedding party to a set number of people.
You may start out with 4 people on each side, but then your step-sister feels left out, you find out your niece Charlotte can make it after all, and Aunt Tina wants just one more big hurrah because she feels like she’s too old to ever be included in a wedding party again if she doesn’t make the cut for yours.
Now you are up to 7, and your poor fiance has to find 3 more people when it was hard enough for him to find 4.
I have filmed a couple of weddings with 7 people on each side. I even filmed one with 9 on each side.
Add in the bride and groom, as well as the junior bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl(s) and ring bearer(s), and you have an unwieldy wedding party. This is especially true if you are adding people just because you don’t want to leave anyone out.
Odds are that some of them really aren’t that close to you, and they will be more interested in partying than listening when the DJ tells them to return to the head table for toasts.
The magic number is determined by you, but remember that numbers add complexity.
Keep it simple.
3. Even Numbers Are Not Always Necessary
You may think that you need to have even numbers on both sides of the wedding party.
The truth is that this is simply not true.
I have filmed weddings that had more bridesmaids than groomsmen or vice versa (although there are usually more women since guys tend to have less friends), and everything went over well.
How does this work when walking down the aisle?
Have the best man walk two women down the aisle. He is the second most important guy in the room anyways. Why not make him look better with two lovely ladies walking on his arms? The same is true for the maid of honor. Make her look better with two strapping fellows escorting her down the aisle.
The logistics are doable, and it is much better than forcing your partner to find someone to be in the wedding that he doesn’t really want to be there, just to make the numbers even.
4. Choose Your Most Helpful Friends & Family
The best thing that you can do in choosing your wedding party is choose people who are really close to you, but also people who want to be helpful. If you choose people who are there just for the party, you are going to end up overworked, over-stressed, and be stuck playing babysitter on your wedding day.
The best wedding party members want to help with the planning (but not in a bossy way), help you put the centerpieces together, will show up to any appointments on time, and will be where they need to be and when they need to be on your wedding day.
Let your wedding party picks know that you would really appreciate their help throughout the process, and be sure to get them a good groomsmen or bridesmaid gift for when it is all over.
I have seen everything from engraved glasses to coupons for rounds of golf at the local golf course.
Nothing is off limits, but make sure to budget for the gifts when planning your wedding budget.
5. Avoid All the Wedding Drama
Going along with the last point, you know that you want good people in your wedding party, but you also want to avoid people who like drama.
Some people live for drama.
You know the people.
They thrive on it and can’t live without it. If you have someone in your wedding party who loves to stir up trouble, they will be sure to find it. They will find it when you ask them to be in your party. They will find it when you are planning your wedding. You can sure bet that they will find it on your wedding day as well.
Save yourself a lot of trouble, and avoid people who love drama for this pick. If it is your best friend, then explain that you feel that the wedding party should be more family-oriented and that your sister should be your maid of honor.
Making one drama-loving individual happy is not going to compensate for a ruined wedding day full of drama and hate.
Choose your wedding party wisely.